Would the Little Girl You Were Be Proud of the Woman You Are Today?

May 31, 2026•4 min read

A strange thought popped into my head this morning.

I was standing in my bathroom washing my hands when I looked around and thought, “Look at all my cool skin stuff.”

Every jar and tube on my counter looked intentional, feminine, and familiar. I realized I liked every single item because each one brings me some kind of benefit. Maybe it moisturizes my dry skin without making it greasy. Maybe it smells good and makes me feel grounded. Maybe it simply makes me feel cared for.

And suddenly I had this thought:

I chose every single thing in here.

That thought felt oddly young — like my younger self was peeking through, excited by my adult surroundings.

As a kid, a teenager, and even a young adult trying to figure out who I was amid all the pressure to choose the “right” career, the “right” relationship, and become financially independent, one theme was always present:

I want to choose.
I want a life that feels like mine.

And I think my little reflection moment this morning was some subconscious part of me reminding me of one simple truth:

I’ve chosen this life.
And I feel pretty damn good about it.

Not because everything turned out exactly as planned.
Not because I’ve reached every goal I still have for myself.

But because the decisions I’ve made — especially the difficult ones — were made in integrity with myself.

That matters.

The choices I’ve made over the last several years created the life I’m living today. And while every outcome hasn’t been perfect, I feel peace because those decisions came from honesty, alignment, and self-trust.

That is Savage Self-Care.

Not pretending everything is fine.
Not forcing gratitude while silently abandoning yourself.

Real self-care is making decisions that honor your values, even when they’re hard.

I think many women are searching for this kind of peace while focusing only on outcomes. We tell ourselves we’ll finally feel happy when the relationship improves, we are chosen for or create our ideal job, the kids are okay, or life feels easier.

But maybe peace comes from something smaller.

Maybe it comes from noticing and applauding the tiny decisions you make every day that are aligned with who you truly are.

Because those decisions accumulate.

Quietly.
Powerfully.
Consistently.

Even four years ago, at age 50, I was grieving the loss of “what could be” when my boyfriend died of cancer. I was feeling deeply frustrated in parts of my career. I worried I would always feel emotionally exhausted and disconnected from the peace I longed for.

And yet this morning, I stood in the same bathroom, in the same city, with the same job — but inside I was different.

Not because I forced myself to “be grateful.”

But because of the hundreds of daily decisions I’ve made over the past four years.
The boundaries.
The honesty.
The pauses.
The moments I stopped abandoning myself.
The determination to FEEL differently in my life.

So let me share some wisdom:

Always ask yourself:
Who do I want to BE in this moment?

The moment that is testing your patience.
The moment that makes you doubt yourself.
The moment where reacting impulsively feels easier than responding intentionally.

Ask yourself: Who do you need to be in this moment to become the woman you want to become?

Do you need to be more curious and less reactive?
Do you need more quiet moments so you can actually THINK instead of constantly DOING?

Never underestimate the power of making decisions aligned with your core values.

And finally:

Know this: If you never abandon yourself, your ideal self eventually appears.